What Seemed Like Paradise
by bluedancer
Summary: Future fic; Starts on Rory's wedding day, but there's a unexpected change of plans; R/J, and hints of L/L; my first fic, please R/R!
1. The Fateful Day

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, but you'd think people would know that..  
  
Spoilers: Um.well, it goes up to Sookie's Wedding, the kiss happened, but then Rory focused on Dean and they stayed together; and I love R/J, don't worry.or do.  
  
~Chapter One~  
  
The sun woke me up this morning. It was a little weird. Usually I wait until my alarm, but today the moment the sun hit my face I was awake. And not just kind of awake, really awake. I guess that's what happens on your wedding day. I shouldn't have expected to sleep in. I shouldn't have even expected to sleep. And I didn't, not really. I was tossing and turning all night, nervous.excited.anxious for the day to come.  
  
Lorelai Leigh Forester. The name ran in my head. I was getting married. I was getting married! Rory Gilmore was getting married to Dean Forester! The Dean I loved.. right? I gave myself a mental slap. Rory Gilmore, you love dean and you know it! Now stop having cold feet and get ready for your wedding!  
  
I slowly dragged myself from the bed. Something felt wrong. I felt.drugged. I hadn't been feeling great for the past week; I had assumed it was the stress of the wedding plans, and that's what this must be, too. I just wish I felt a little better today of all days. Coffee! That's what I needed, coffee. I stood up and walked towards the door. At least that's what I was planning on doing, until the world turned upside down and I was swimming in what felt like a sea of eternal blackness.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I hummed to myself as I made a fresh pot of coffee. My baby was getting married! "Rory!" I called. "Rory! I have some coffee for you! Rory?" Why wasn't she up yet? Goodness, you'd think today of all days she'd be up earlier than ever before. And she was always up early. I walked to her room, still humming, and slowly cracked the door. I saw the empty bed, so swung the door open. "Rory! Why -" I froze. My baby, my Rory was on the floor, her breath was shallow. I dropped down to her side. "Rory?" I whispered, giving her a little shake. "Rory?" I said a little louder. "Rory!" I was shouting now. "Rory! Rory! Wake up baby, wake up, Rory!" I had begun to cry without realizing it. My baby was unconscious, and on her wedding day no less.  
  
I needed to do something, anything. I ran frantically for the phone and dialed the first number that came to mind. It rang a few times before he picked up.  
  
"Hello?" His deep, soothing voice said.  
  
"Luke, oh my gosh, Luke, you gotta get over here, you got -"  
  
"Lorelai? Lorelai, calm down, what is it?" He interrupted.  
  
"Luke, you gotta come over, Rory.she's not awake.. she's unconscious Luke! I cant' wake her up!"  
  
"Lorelai, calm down! I'll be right over" *click* He hung up. I slowly tried to breathe, taking comfort that help - that Luke was on the way. 


	2. A Hospital Visit

All the stuff it said in chapter one.. and I think they might seem a little out of character.but whatever.my friend told me there was no such thing as out of character, so I'm just gonna go with that, lol  
"Caesar! Cover me!" I yelled as I ran out the door. Rory, unconscious? It's just the stress of her wedding day, it must be. I ran as fast as I could to Lorelai's house, a path I had walked many times before. I ran inside, not bothering to knock. "Lorelai?" I shouted.  
  
"Luke? Luke!" She ran into my arms. It would have been rather nice if the circumstances were different. She was crying hysterically on my shoulder, and I was slowly rubbing her back.  
  
"Shhh, Lorelai, I'm sure she's fine, shhh, she probably just didn't get enough sleep or something, shhh; here, you sit her and I'll go see her" She shook her head and indicated she was coming with me. Together we walked in. Rory was on the floor. She looked like a fragile little doll that would break if I touched her. I slowly set Lorelai down on the bed and walked over to Rory. She was breathing -very slowly and shallowly. I placed my head on her forehead. It was burning. "Lorelai" I whispered. "Lorelai, can you bring me the phone?" She nodded gently, and left to get it. I looked down at Rory and noticed a good number of bruises on her arms and legs. What had happened to her? Lorelai returned wit the phone, and I called an ambulance. Then I held Lorelai in my arms as she cried.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Rory, Rory"  
  
Someone was calling me. Where were they? Why couldn't I reach them?  
  
"Rory, wake up sweatheart, come on, wakeup" I slowly opened my eyes and was met with the sight of an unfamiliar face. "Good morning Rory"  
  
"Where am I?" I asked, still feeling dazed.  
  
"Rory, this morning you collapsed in your room, and your mother and father brought you here. We're going to run some tests on you to try and get to the bottom of this, but first I think your mother wants to see you" I nodded and she walked out of the room. Collapsed? Father? I sat trying to remember what had happened when my mom came in.  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Rory!" She ran up and gave me a big hug. Her eyes were all red, and she had obviously been crying. "Oh, Rory, I was so worried!" She cried.  
  
"Mom -Mom! I'm fine! I promise!" She looked up and smiled.  
  
"We're gonna get you out of here as fast as we can, ok?" I nodded, and then remembered.  
  
"Mom, did you call Dean? Did you call the church? Everyone?! We're going to have to post pone the wedding! We have to call everyone -" "Rory, calm down! Luke and I will take care of it. (that explained the father line!) I wanna stay but they're making me leave so you can take some icky tests" She put on a pouty face. "Unless you want me to come."  
  
"No.. no, I'll be fine."  
  
"I'll be back as soon as I can," She said as she walked out the door, and a nurse came in to take me down to the testing room. Though I wouldn't admit it, I had wanted my mom to stay. I had no clue what was going to happen to me, and I was facing it all alone.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I was at the hospital. The HOSPITAL. I would've been breaking out if it weren't for Luke. He was on my cell making calls. Well, his first call really, to Dean. I sighed and walked toward the cafeteria, in search of coffee. I was glad when Luke said he'd make some of the calls. I just wasn't sure if I could handle it right now. I found the coffee, bought a cup, and sat down at the nearest table. After finishing the bland hospital coffee -I was dying for a cup of Luke's, I walked back to where I'd left Luke.  
  
"Went on a coffee search?" He asked?  
  
"Yeah.. who was that you just hung up on?"  
  
"Sookie, she's gonna make sure the whole wedding party gets the news"  
  
"Mmm.. ok.. who else did you call?"  
  
"Dean, Jess, they both took a long time.."  
  
"Yeah.. I they would..are they on their way?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"I guessed they would be..I should call the grandparents.and Chris..and Lane, can't forget her.." He nodded and handed me the phone, then walked off, presumably in search of food. I sat down in the nearest chair and started dialing. 


	3. Her Boys

Thanks for all the great reviews guys! You have no idea how much I appreciate it! I didn't expect to get many reviews, and well 6 isn't a lot, but more I expected, and I didn't expect them all to be good, so yay! Hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry it's short!  
  
Oh yeah, same disclaimer stuff, etc. And sorry about some of the spelling mistakes, etc. And FYI-if it has a period in the middle of a sentence, like, "well. I'm just gonna go. ok?", then it's probably supposed to be three dots, indicating a pause. I just noticed that and it was annoying me..  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After Luke called, I grabbed my keys and rushed to the car. As I was starting the engine, I noticed someone else doing the same. Stupid fiancé of hers. I stopped the car. What was I thinking? She wasn't going to want to see me, she was going to want to see her fiancé, *Dean*. Ugh. I bet this is how Luke feels watching Lorelai. He wants her so bad but she always seems to be with other men. Well, Rory was always with one other guy. Dean. Stupid Rory wanting her stupid predictable boyfriend. And all I wanted was her. I watched as Dean drove away towards the hospital; towards Rory. I banged my head against the steering wheel. I should've told someone when I noticed the bruises on Rory's arms, the bruises she was trying to cover. When I noticed the way she had seemed so tired lately; the way she hadn't been eating as much as usual. I should've gone with my initiative when I thought something was wrong. I could of done something. But it's probably what Luke said, what everyone else assumed when they noticed it -just the stress of those stupid wedding plans. They probably left out the stupid part though; probably more like the wonderful, fabulous wedding, with *perfect* Dean, not bad boy Jess. No, then it'd be the stupid wedding. I sighed, took my keys out of the ignition, and walked back towards the diner.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I couldn't believe it when Luke told me. How could Rory be in the hospital? She wasn't supposed to be sick; it wasn't supposed to be like this! As I was starting the car, I noticed someone staring at me. It was Jess; that jerk. I was afraid he might be coming too, but as I drove away I saw him getting out of his car in my review mirror. Good thinking on his part. Probably the smartest thing I've seen that kid do.  
  
The drive to the hospital was a blur. I was still in a state of shock. The whole time I was just thinking on getting to Rory. I don't know how I got to the waiting room where Luke and Lorelai were, but somehow I did. They were sitting in silence when I walked up but when Lorelai saw me she jumped up.  
  
"Dean! Thank God you're here!"  
  
The first words I was able to think or say were "Where is she?" I wanted to see her. I needed to see her, needed to know she was all right.  
  
"They took her down for testing, we won't e able to see her for at least another hour"  
  
"What? No! I want to see her now! I need to see her now! I need to talk to her, I need to know she's ok, that -"  
  
"Dean, calm down! It's just a few tests and then you can see her." Lorelai interrupted. "Just a few routine tests.." I nodded, holding back tears. I wasn't going to cry, especially not in front of Lorelai. I needed to pull myself together! Rory was going to be fine, she had to be. They were just routine tests! Stop making this more than it is!  
  
"Um, I'm going to go walk around, get out some energy, sort through this; I'll be back in a bit." I said and walked off to who knows where.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Again, sorry it's so short! I'm probably not going to be able to update again for a little while (maybe not until after school gets out the 23). I know I probably don't have time to write much until next week when I have extra time after Finals. I'll probably work on it this week though, like a naughty girl, but if I don't get anything up for a while, it's because I have a lot of stuff to do by the 23rd. 


	4. You Don't Pass Every Test

I'm *so* sorry for the long wait! But school is finally over! Yay! Please read, and don't hate!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ugh. This officially sucked. After what seemed like a thousand tests, they said I had to stay overnight for more tests! And since visiting hours were over, they had forced everyone to leave, even mom; she did put up a pretty good fight though... I think Luke and Dean were glad to leave though. I would have been, too. My mom wouldn't let anyone else come to see me, not even Grandma and Grandpa, and I was thankful for it. I didn't want tons of people gushing over me. There was one person I had wanted to see.maybe even more than Dean-- More than Dean?!! No! Not more than Dean.how could I want to see someone more than Dean? But I had wanted him to come... I wonder why he didn't... why did I want him to come?! I wanted Dean to come, not him! Stupid Rory. I needed to get my mind off of everything, off of how horribly wrong today had gone. Sighing, I picked up the remote and began watching the only channel on the hospital TV that wasn't preaching to me or in Spanish. Could this day get any worse?  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning I rushed back to the hospital as soon as I could. How could they have kicked me out?! It was plain injustice! I'd take care of that later... but first- Rory.  
  
"Hey sweetie," I said, as I walked into the room. Rory was lying in bed watching TV, a look of absolute boredom on her face.  
  
The first thing out of her mouth was, "Did you bring the books?"  
  
'Typical Rory' I thought as I handed her the massive bag of books she had listed and insisted I bring. As she was inspecting them, a doctor came in.  
  
"Ms. Gilmore, I just need to give Rory one more test, and then after I do a short analysis of the results, I should know just what is bothering your daughter." I nodded as I followed what he was saying. "So, I'm going to take Rory down, and then in about three hours, we'll talk again." I was really beginning to hate waiting. Even more than I had before this whole thing, which was a lot, so that's gotta mean something. I gave Rory a tight squeeze, told her I'd see her soon, and went to do whatever it is people do in hospitals. Too bad Luke wasn't here today...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I hate these doctors. Do they ever consider the pain they put us in? Yeah, just stick a big needle in my butt, I don't care. It's not like I could feel anything, just a slight excruciating pain, no biggie. Why'd they have to take a sample of my stupid bone marrow anyways? Sure, I've been a little more tired lately, I haven't been as hungry as usually, big deal. I mean, I *was* planning a wedding! And maybe the bruises were kind of weird.ok, really weird, but come on, it's not like I'm little miss graceful over here. I just wish everyone would stop making this such a big deal! I'm fine! I don't need any doctors, any hospitals, I just need to go home and sleep! I just wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare and return to the beautiful fantasy I was in, where everything was right, and I was the little princess. But this wasn't a nightmare, and there was no way to wake up. And then mom and Doctor Paul, the doctor who had been in charge my 'case', walked in. Mom sat down next to me and grabbed my hand. Doctor Paul stayed where he was, fiddling with his files.  
  
"Ms. Gilmore," he said. "We have finished analyzing your daughters tests. Unfortunately, I am going to have to be your daughter's doctor much longer than we first expected." He's eyes were filled with sympathy as he looked at me. "Rory, you have Leukemia" 


	5. I Love You, Mom

Alrighty, next chapter. For those of you confused, the bruises are only from the leukemia, no ones been hitting Rory. I've kind of hit this weird block like I hit in the Harry Potter fic I'm writing with my friend, where I know how it's going to end, and everything that's going to happen, I'm just not quite sure how to get it there.anyways, figured I should put in another disclaimer thing.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore girls, or much of anything else for that matter. I don't ever really own Doctor Paul. Actually, his name just kind of randomly came to me, and I remembered later that a book a read had a Doctor Paul in it (you should read it to, the flowers in the attic series by V. C. Andrews) So basically I own nothing, and I'm not creative enough to come up with any of my own characters.  
  
And I've decided Rory is 18, and it's just like she and Dean stayed together, and she's getting married to him right out of high school instead of Lindsay. Rory still has feelings for Jess, and the kiss still happened, and don't Rory, I'm gonna get rid of Dean soon, I just have to set it up. That'll probably happen next chapter, then it's Jess all the way  
  
Oh, and this'll probably be the last chapter for a week or so, because I'm leaving for the beach on Sunday, and my friends coming in from Louisiana tonight, and I haven't seen her for a year, but I promise I'll write at the beach! Sorry for the loooong A/N!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
He had to be kidding. Now I really was dreaming. I had to be, I just had to. This couldn't be real. But unfortunately my mom's voice dragged my back to reality.  
  
"There must be some mistake! A mix up in charts, a faulty test, something!"  
  
"I'm sorry Ms. Gilmore, but there is no mistake," Dr Paul said, understanding and compassion filling his voice. "Would you like some time you yourself, or would you like me to tell you some more?"  
  
"I want you to get your- " My mom began to yell before I cut in, surprising her and myself.  
  
"Could you tell me some more?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the answer.  
  
"Rory, your white blood cell count is *extremely* high," Doctor Paul began. "You have acute myeloid leukemia; acute means that the cancer came suddenly and is increasing rapidly, meaning we need to start treatment right away."  
  
"Treatment?" My mom asked.  
  
"Yes, we will have to start Rory on chemotherapy tomorrow. There will be side effects, of course; nausea, poor appetite, fatigue, weight loss, hair loss..."  
  
"And this chemotherapy is supposed to be helping?!"  
  
"Ms. Gilmore, it is going to save your daughter"  
  
My brain was trying to process all of this. Nothing had ever prepared me for something as big as this. I couldn't grasp it. IT was just... It couldn't be possible. This couldn't really be happening to me. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Dr. Paul's voice.  
  
"We will be moving Rory to a more permanent room- "  
  
"I'm staying here?" I interrupted, surprising myself once again.  
  
"Yes, but only for the first round of treatment hopefully; then we most likely will be able to send you home" He started talking again, but I think my mom saw the look of utter disbelief on my face and realized that I needed some time to process everything. "Dr. Paul, maybe you could tell us the rest in a little while?" I love my mom  
  
"Of course, Ms. Gilmore. Let me know when your ready to talk some more. We still have a lot we need to discuss."  
  
After Doctor Paul left, my mom sat down in the chair next to my bed.  
  
"Do you want anything sweat heart?"  
  
"No... I just want to think... You know, process everything and junk"  
  
"Of course... so I'll just... go..." She wanted to stay, I could tell, but I just wanted to be alone for a little bit.  
  
"Mom"  
  
"Yes" She stopped in front of the door.  
  
"I love you"  
  
"Oh, I love you too, honey, I love you too"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I think I liked the waiting better. A lot better. How could this be happening? This is one of those things that are only supposed to happen in books. Or to really bad people who deserve it. Not to good, sweet, loving, smart, caring people. Not to Rory. I could feel my panic attack feelings kicking in, but luckily they were interrupted by the ring of my phone.  
  
"Hello?" I answered  
  
"Lorelai"  
  
"Oh, hi mom"  
  
"Well, have they told you anything yet?"  
  
"Um... maybe"  
  
"Lorelai, this is no time for your silly antics!"  
  
"Right, sorry"  
  
"Well?! What did they tell you?"  
  
"Mom," my voice was beginning to falter. I had been trying hard to pretend like nothing was wrong, but I couldn't do it any longer. "She has cancer, mom. She has Leukemia." I heard her take in a sharp breath.  
  
"I'm coming over there immediately!"  
  
"Ok" She sounded ready to argue my refusal, so I guess the acceptance, or more the pleading tone for her to come in my voice surprised her, because suddenly she sounded like a real human being.  
  
"Don't worry, Lorelai, I'll be right there, ok?"  
  
"Thanks mom" I sat there for a little while not knowing how to feel, when she showed up. Surprisingly, she just came over and sat down next to me. I sunk back into my chair and let out all the tears I had been holding since yesterday morning. She put her hand around me and pulled me close to her, like I was a little girl again. As she was smoothing out my hair, I quietly whispered, "I love you, mom" 


	6. AN

Well, I'm here at the beach, and I was thinking about the story, and I realized that Rory isn't really acting like she's 18 or whatever, but younger, and that it's more likely that she'd get leukemia at a younger age; So now I'm thinking of doing a slight re-write, and make her younger, like maybe 16, but that's when the show started about though, and I want Jess to be there and she's going out with Dean; so anyways, I'm going to be doing a slight rewrite, and it's probably going to get a lot more AU than it is already..of course, the more I think about it, the more this story is bugging me; I'm not exactly sure what I want to do, but if you have any suggestions, tell me! 


	7. And in a public place, no less!

Sorry for the looooong gap! I just became discouraged and preoccupied, and yeah. But now I'm feeling newly ready to write (actually thanks to Emily Carol, thanks for checking out my story and writing such nice reviews! You too Kat! Love you babe, even though *your* obligated to tell my it's great! Anyways, I know it's short, but I just wrote it like, in the past hour, and I wanted to get something up so you know I'm still thinking about it and working on it again! I'm gonna bring a notebook with me to the 4th of July picnic tomorrow... well, today... anyways, I'm back writing! Yay! Enough rambles, now the story!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back at this stupid hospital. Why can't Rory hurry up at get better? We're supposed to be on our honeymoon right now, the one to Venice, Italy, just like she wanted, the one *I* paid expensive money for. And then she goes and gets sick. This definitely was not in my game plan.  
  
"Dean! You're here!" Lorelai.  
  
"Yeah, got here as soon as I could, so, do they have any news on when Rory can get out of this crap-hole?"  
  
"Dean... " Lorelai began. "Dean, Rory's gonna be here a lot longer than we might have hoped... "  
  
"What? But what about everything... the wedding, the honeymoon, our life?!"  
  
"It's gonna have to be put on hold for a little while -"  
  
"Put on hold?! You can't just put my LIFE on hold!!" I knew I was being inconsiderate; somewhere inside I knew I wasn't paying attention to Lorelai's tear-stained face or the sadness in her voice, but I couldn't help it. She was talking like there was something wrong, and there couldn't be something wrong, not after everything I did to create this perfect life. After everything, there couldn't be something to break it.  
  
"Dean, please, be reasonable. Please, just let me tell you"  
  
"Tell me what? I just want Rory out of here, and you sound like she's never leaving!"  
  
"Young man! Unless you have something constructive to say, then if you would please leave my daughter and I in -Dean? My future grandson-in-law? Why in the world are you causing such a scene? And in a public place no less?"  
  
"I -it's just -" Why is it that my future grandmother-in-law intimidates me so much?  
  
"I think you owe us both an apology" What is it with her and manners?  
  
"I just... I just want Rory out of here? Is that such a bad thing to want?"  
  
"Well, Dean, it looks like that isn't going to happen anytime soon. Rory has cancer. Leukemia to be more precise."  
  
"Oh. I..."  
  
"Dean, you don't have to say anything"  
  
"I just... I didn't know it was so serious"  
  
"Neither did anyone else"  
  
"So... what now?"  
  
"Now? Now you need to go talk to my daughter"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Psst. You, yeah, the one that was about to just move on to something else in their life. Hey, you see that little button in the corner, the one that says review? Yeah, you know, you *could* possibly push that, and you know, write something. And it doesn't even have to be great, if you thought it sucked, then, hey, tell me it sucked, just, do it nicely, cuz it's nicer that way. Or if you think it has potential and want to point out some stuff to help me improve, that works too. Now, go on. You know you want to, everyone's doing it! 


	8. AN2

Hey ya'll; sorry I haven't updated recently, I feel really bad; and no, this isn't actually a chapter, I know, I'm awful, I suck. Just a little update: yes, I have been thinking about the story, and I've written some, but not enough for a chapter; I start school Monday, so..yeah..blegh, excuse me while I go barf. I want to write, but I don't' wanna rush it you know? And I kind of felt like the last chapter was rushed..yeah..i'm kind of at the point I was in my last a/n where I know where I want to go, but I don't know how to get there, you know? And I want to get to the lit stuff, but I'm afraid I'm rushing to get there and making the first part bad..and eh, I'm just a perfectionist, bear with me here..  
  
So, yes, I suck I suck I suck, I promise I'll try to update soon! I'm not doing anything tomorrow so maybe I'll write! Wooo!! I'm feeling a writing mood coming ooon! (I feel a song coming on *coughupyourinsides* you got a friend in meeeee...)(you know, lately I've been on this Disney music freaky rage thing..I'm a freak.and I know it! I'm not afraid to show it!)  
  
On another note, I saw Much Ado About Nothing tonight, and I dunno, was it just me, or was there a little rory/tristan like thing with the whole Beatrice/Benedict action? I could defintily see a little story modeling that..but that's just me..never thought I'd be a trory fan, but I'm finding that I like it more and more..seems that each time I decide to give a trory a chance I like it..I still say it has to do with the writer, but I've decided it just has to do with the situation and how they make it happen..which is kind of the writer.but I definitely see how it could work now.ok.done rambling...and remember, I Suck!!!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I actually have the next chapter, I'm just not happy with it yet..I just wanna work on it a little more, but I promise I'll try and have it up soon. I actually uploaded it and everything, but when I was previewing it, I realized how much I didn't really like it..so yeah.I'm gonna try writing it a few different ways.. 


	9. Not Enough Love

Woo! See how good I am!! Actually, I already had most of this written and just.forgot about it..lol. Hope you like it..it probably sucks, because as we all learned, I Suck!!!! Woo!!  
  
Bridget- Thank you so much for the reviews!! I really appreciate it; and good job for guessing it was leukemia before I told you; it's really from just getting your reviews that I was like, oh yeah, I should put something up, and then I went back and re-read what I had of this chapter, and I edited it so I wasn't rushing into parts of it as much, because what I had her confessing with her mom I want her to do with Jess, and ah, you don't care, but THANKYOU! and that goes for everybody; if you want me to update after it's been.what is it now? forever? send me a review out of the blue and I'm like..woah.review..3's to them, I'll post something  
  
Emily-of course you got a shout out! You're awesome!!! I wanna be just like you when I grow up! Cept I'm already kind of grown up..oh well..and band camp?! What were you doing there?! Naughty naughty :-P  
  
Smile-thanks! I appreciate it! I've been looking at some of your stuff, and it's preeety awesome!  
  
Lucial-oops..it took as long again..sorry!!! :( longer actually!! I'm really bad! Really really bad!  
  
Momo- of course it's gonna be R/J and L/L!! I don't know how much the L/L will be, but it'll definitely be hidden in there for our little pleasures, lol :-D  
  
Kat- I dunno.was it rushed? Hmm..well, this one might be just as bad..I'll try not to rush.but that also means that I take longer getting stuff up..not like this chapter didn't take FOREVER, cuz I suck! Woo!  
  
Samantha- I promise it's coming!!! Maybe the next chapter, or the one after it! working on Dean this chapter, you know, getting him out of the picture; hard chapter to write, let me tell you that  
  
Ok, story now!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It'd been almost an hour since he came in, and neither of us had said a word yet. I wonder what he was thinking about. He was the one who came in in the first place, I hadn't wanted him to, and now he's sitting there not saying anything. If he didn't have anything important to say, then I was just going to go back to sleep. It was a lot better than being awake. I curled up and closed my eyes. When I woke up he was still sitting there, looking at the window, obviously lost in thought.  
  
"Dean?" He looked startled when he heard my voice. "Dean, what are you doing?"  
  
"Oh, Rory... Hey."  
  
"You've been sitting there for who knows how long and all you have to say is 'hey'? Come on, talk to me, what have you been thinking about?" I never expected what he said next.  
  
"Rory, I think it's best we call off the wedding..."  
  
"W-What?"  
  
"I've been thinking about it a long time, and I think it's the most rational thing to do."  
  
"How is that rational?!"  
  
"It just is, ok? I have my whole life ahead of me, and I think it's just easier if we aren't tied together right now."  
  
"So you're just going to leave? You're just going to walk away? What would you have done if we were already married Dean? What happened to for better or for worse? Well, I bet you're happy! We found out just in time, huh? You can just slip away with no obligations and leave me to deal with everything by myself!"  
  
"No, Rory, it's not-- it's just..."  
  
"I'm gonna hold you back? Pull you down? You can't stand to live in a world that isn't perfect? Who ever said I could either? I don't get a choice Dean! And you're just going to take advantage of yours? And to think you said you loved me! What is love, Dean? It isn't running away just because there's a bump in the road!"  
  
"Ror... you know I love you"  
  
"No, Dean, just go; it'll be easier for both of us without you pretending you care." He slowly walked to the door, and when he reached it, he turned to look at me.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just can't do it; it'll be better this way," he said before he slipped out the door. Sure, it was better; it was better for him, better and easier. It was easier for him to walk away from my troubles and not have to deal with them. He was the lucky one, he could walk away. I just couldn't believe he was actually doing it. For some reason I was actually stupid enough to think he'd stick through it with me. As he left, I realized something. If he wasn't willing to stay with me, then who was? Were they all going to go on with their regular life and leave me here? Tears were starting to form in my eyes; I hadn't realized how badly I wanted to cry. I just barely got my face to the lumpy hospital pillow in time to muffle the heavy sobs that came next.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I was on the phone with Sookie when I realized it had been quite a long time since I talked to my daughter. I hung up, promising to call back soon, and hurriedly walked to her room. I found Rory sitting with her knees to her chest, her head resting on a pillow placed on her knees. Her hands were clenching her pillow, and looking at her tear-stained face, it was obvious she had cried herself to sleep.  
  
"Oh, Rory" I sighed quietly to myself as I walked to her bed and gently smoothed her hair. I went to pull the chair closer to the bed, and when I looked at her again, she had opened her eyes, obviously awakened by my noise.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to be quiet."  
  
"Mom, you suck at being quiet."  
  
"Kind of you to put it so nicely."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"What's wrong honey?"  
  
"He called it off."  
  
"Who called what off? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Dean. He called it off; he canceled the wedding. He canceled the wedding and just walked away, out of my life and my problems most likely to find someone better and prettier and healthier and just..." Her voice was starting to break up. "He doesn't love me enough mom, he doesn't love me..." That's where she broke into sobs. I slowly got in her bed and held her in my arms as she cried.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ok, so it wasn't that great, and it might seem sudden with Dean canceling the wedding, and such, but I think I worked out some of it; I know Rory's little outburst might be kind of out of character, and really sudden too, but I think she deserves to have one, and I dunno.it was a hard dialogue to write; I thought about writing it without their conversation, just her reflections on it, but that'd just be me taking the easy way out; if ya'll think that it sucks too much, I can try to rewrite it a different way, cuz I was trying some different approaches and stuff. So, yeah.hope it didn't suck too badly; so dean's out of the way; there might be a little more of him still, haven't decided yet, but jess should come soon; should be the next chapter as a matter of fact (I even have a semi outline know! who is good? I just have to write it!) 


End file.
